I assume all of you, like me, talk to your appliances.
“Way to go Dishwasher, these glasses look great!”
“Hello Fridge, don’t tell Washer and Dryer, but you’re my favorite. Really you are.”
Even Little Toaster gets a high five and verbal affirmation when he doesn’t burn my bagel.
Sadly, though, my last few conversations with Oven have been less pleasant.
“Are you kidding me Oven? I have people here. People who don’t eat raw fish. People who are not hip. Pull yourself together and focus. Remember last Thursday? You were at 400 degrees for three hours straight and you barely broke a sweat.”
“Is 375 just too much to ask?”
“Oven…You’re embarrassing me in front of my friends.”
I know it sounds harsh, but In my defense I didn’t know that Oven was actually suffering from a physical ailment, not just being obstinate (although I’ve seen this attitude before).
The oven is so sick, in fact, that we must wait 2 weeks for its replacement part.
No baking for two weeks. No heart or lip-shaped Valentine cookies. No cakes. No fun.
No casseroles, cinnamon rolls, or bread puddings.
No broiled veggies.
We shall surely starve.
Oh I suppose we could pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and cook yummy things on the stovetop and in the microwave. People in other cultures have survived for years without ovens. But how? Why?
Anyway, we’ll make it. We will. We’ll be creative, if not just plain desperate.
We’ll boil and fry! Saute and stir!
Just you wait world, we can do this….
Please send help.